Generally this space is reserved for updates on Addie and eventually Baby Monty #2. However, today I am claiming my right to post my personal thoughts on something here.
For those who did not read it on Thursday, a male student at Fairfax High School in Los Angeles was chosen the Prom Queen by his peers. The student, who was originally denied the opportunity, gave a speech to the student body saying that the fliers did not specify gender for either position. I was about to ask "Since when was there any confusion about the gender specifications for kings and queens?" Apparently, the answer is May 2009. The student went on to say that he doesn't want to be a girl, but deep down he is a queen and that he felt the role would fit him better.
These comments stir a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings, but two specific ones draw the most attention. Number one, it saddens me to see that it has become acceptable enough for men of any age to turn their backs on the masculine nature that God made for them and embrace feminine traits as more appealing. Though I'm certain I'm paraphrasing, I know that John Eldredge spoke in his book "Wild at Heart" about how society has turned its nose at the strong, male character and his innate desire to be a purposeful leader. While God has appointed a number of women through time to be strong leaders as queens, they were WOMEN. They were designed to assert and provide leadership with a unique set of characteristics. My underlying concern is that society has developed such an apathy for this distortion of God's desire for us as man and woman that my children and future generations will be looked down upon for upholding these core beliefs.
Secondly, I am troubled that someone of this age would have a well-developed self-image that is so schewed from that of his birth and nobody is asking the necessary questions. What caused this young man to abandon his masculine nature? What are the emotional issues that have led him down this path? Some may disagree with me, but I refuse to accept biology. I do not accept that God created any man or woman to end up with homosexual preferences. Knowing that God sees this as a perversion and a sin, I will not accept that argument.
A third thought came to mind when re-reading one of the quotes in the AP story. The senior class president spoke for her fellow students and celebrated that the class was so open-minded. I would argue that these students are mis-characterized as open-minded and should more accurately be deemed as uninformed and blinded to the greater issues. While I hesitate to blame the media, it is an important part of our society and it has definitely contributed to the acceptance of this lifestyle. Instead, I think it is more important for us as Christians to take a greater stand against societal elements we find immoral and use both our voting and buying power to force executives to change the way they program. These children have been raised in a society that has embraced those ideals and has no concept of the long-term emotional consequences that many people will face.
I'm no crusader...just a soon-to-be-father of two who is worried sick about the world his kids will inherit. Thank you Mom and Dad for the delicate balance you forged for me between education and protection.
8 comments:
Trio,
I understand your sentiments and feelings, and appreciate you taking the time to delineate them in such a well-spoken and well-written fashion. However, I must vehemently disagree with your position.
As I am sure you will agree, we as humans are fundamentally flawed, imperfect beings. While I may not be as well-versed in the bible as you, I remember from some formative religious teachings that a fundamental tenet of Christianity is that man cannot determine or judge who will enter "heaven." I do explicitly remember "Let ye who is without sin cast the first stone." We as humans do not have the faculties to judge whether being gay is somehow immoral. The best we can muster is "Live and let live."
However, at first blush your post reads like a judgmental rant. First you judge the student's feelings and desires to be prom queen. It is well-known that gay youths often have conflicted feelings because of the way society judges and demonizes them (in fact, they have the highest suicide rate among teens as a group as a result). In addition, these are high school kids. Who has ever known this age group to act consistently prudently? I salute the student's bravery in at least making his feelings publicly known and offering his position up to be considered. The students found him compelling, and agreed with his position. I have more of a problem with those that shout down different points of view (such as Iraq war protesters being labeled as traitors, instead of being given a forum to express their views. We know how well that turned out.)
More importantly, you seem to characterize the universe in polar tones, such as masculine and feminine. Is it masculine when a man sheds tears at the first sight of his newborn child? Is it feminine when a woman is appointed CEO of a company? In short, I believe men as a whole are more similar to women than they are different: There are more differences between men than there are differences between the average man and average woman. Masculinity and femininity is a spectrum, not an endpoint. Maybe if our society were more accepting of homosexuals they would feel comfortable exhibiting "masculine" and "feminine" feelings in front of the rest of society. As John Amaechi, who played professional basketball for the Magic and is gay, said, "I have seen much more homo-erotic behavior between supposedly straight men in the locker rooms of sports teams, than ever by gay men in public." Are those players masculine, or feminine?
I believe we have more in common as people than differences, and should focus on those common grounds. Instead of focusing on taking "a greater stand against societal elements we find immoral and use both our voting and buying power to force executives to change the way they program," why can't we focus on Christian ideals that have existed forever? Concepts of helping your neighbor with no expectation of them returning the favor, of charity, of giving back to your community, regardless of the color or social status or sexual orientation, but simply because they are HUMAN BEINGS. I believe we can at least agree on that. Our outrage should be meted out to those who ignored Hurricane Katrine victims (whether black, white, tourist, rich, or otherwise) instead of this high school student.
Again, thanks for adding to the dialogue with your detailed post. I have attempted to respect your post with a response that is just as detailed and respectful. I would welcome your rejoinder.
I just want to get e-mailed follow-up comments.
Credit goes to both of you for tackling a tough subject.
Ok time for some truth.
The growth, influx, and spread of homosexuality in this country are in direct connection to the Christian church limiting their contact with this population of people. These are hurting, damaged, and broken individuals that need love and understanding, and not the stone-cold judgment that Christians primarily pour on what they see as a social problem and not a group of people.
Beat your wife, drive drunk, kill your neighbor, sleep with your married office assistant, take meth, abort a child, or rob a bank. All forgivable in the eyes of the church. Bring up the “H” word (Homo) or “G” word (Gay) and you will see judgment fall fast and hard from the lips of Christians.
If we desire a real change in this country, if we really want to have an impact on these people, get off the judgment seat and meet a need. Listen, serve, and love these people. We have a chance to make a difference – will we? Novel idea, follow God’s word and watch Him work.
Too many times we are just in the way of healing, restoration, and connection.
In response to the comments left, I want to address one of the initial points made. At no point in my comments did I speak of judging who will enter heaven. I am giving my opinion about a behavior...not a thesis on eternity and our destination after death. I view homosexuality the same as lying or stealing...sin is sin. It can all be forgiven and is by God when sought out.
Following that, as a Christian I choose to follow God's laws. My morality is based on those teachings. I have every right to label that lifestyle as immoral. One dictionary definition of immorality says it is "contrary to conscience or divine law". God's law guides my conscience and is the basis of what I consider divine law. Others may choose not to adopt these laws, but I do and it molds and shapes my belief system and morality.
I fail to see how my words were taken as a judgmental rant. My entire opening paragraph included almost all facts, save for the one question at the end. Following that, I asked a question about society. I also don't have any issue with the student making his feelings public. My issue is that this behavior is seen as a societal norm in many places, something that troubles me personally without speaking about the character of the young man.
Finally, I did not attempt to polarize any singular person. I would encourage you to read the book I mentioned to fully understand my point of view when it comes to masculine and feminine traits. I'm not limiting masculine traits to being physically tough and guarded emotionally or femininity to sensitivity and having a tender heart. Again, I spoke of women who were clearly born to be leaders. However, their leadership is executed in a unique way to that of men.
The bottom line to me is I think it was irresponsible to characterize my comments like a rant "at first glance". I spent ample time making sure that I spoke about my feelings toward society and as little as possible about the actions themselves while providing as much fact as possible in a clear, coherent way. Agree or disagree with my position, feel free to share your opinions. I appreciate a well-thought argument that does not include irrational response and do feel like you thought out your answer to portray your thoughts and feelings.
The Gumby,
First, thank you for taking my comments seriously and for taking the time to respond. It may seem silly to formally and continually affirm that the discourse be kept civil and respectful, but given the sensitive nature of the subject matter I greatly appreciate it.
Now, more substantively. To Cameron: You wrote
"These are hurting, damaged, and broken individuals that need love and understanding, and not the stone-cold judgment that Christians primarily pour on what they see as a social problem and not a group of people."
While I can greatly appreciate and agree with the empathy in the statement, if I were gay (and I am not) I would perceive the label of "hurting, damaged, and broken" as quite condescending. The statement does not come across as dealing with an equal; it comes across as dealing with someone who has a drug addiction or a terminal disease. My friends who are gay would not characterize their long term relationships or their lifestyle as damaged or broken.
However, where we do find common ground is that these individuals deserve love and understanding. If we at least begin there, from both sides, we can learn to understand each other better. And understanding is the first step to acceptance, of each other.
In response to Gumby's comments, I appreciate how you further fleshed out your post. I particularly appreciate the following clarification:
"I'm not limiting masculine traits to being physically tough and guarded emotionally or femininity to sensitivity and having a tender heart. Again, I spoke of women who were clearly born to be leaders. However, their leadership is executed in a unique way to that of men."
I re-read your post for the reference to the book you noted to no avail. I would be interested in getting the title and author of the book and reading it at your suggestion, if you wouldn't mind supplying it.
I also understand your clarification of judging not the student himself, but society for tolerating and encouraging such behavior. On the other hand, you ask the question, "What caused this young man to abandon his masculine nature?" implying/judging that there is something inherently wrong with him because he is homosexual, but that is splitting hairs.
However, comments about your post being a "rant" aside, the main thrust of my response is that your position remains judgmental. You feel that you have the right to judge homosexuality as immoral. And I agree, you have that right. I stand by my statements that humans are fundamentally flawed and incapable of judging "sinful" behavior in others, but that doesn't limit your right to attempt to do so.
(cont'd)
Where I strongly disagree, apart from the viewpoint itself that homosexuality is inherently wrong, is trying to rid society of that lifestyle.
"... it (homosexuality) has definitely contributed to the acceptance of this lifestyle." That quote strongly implies that you desire such a lifestyle/behavior to not be accepted by society at all and ultimately be abolished or removed from society. That is the natural progression of your belief system. Now, I am not implying that you want these people rounded up and shot; quite to the contrary, I greatly appreciate your first impulse is to ask questions of this young man, and why he is the way he is. If more individuals with your position on homosexuality actually practiced that, there would be a lot less suicide amongst gay teens and more understanding and empathy all around.
However, it seems your position is that these people need to be "fixed," and if they refuse to be fixed, then perhaps banished from our society, or forced to practice their immoral acts indoors. (Actually, I don't want to put words in your mouth and would like to know how you would like to deal with the issue of homosexuality in our society; perhaps a continuation of our debate?)
My position is that homosexuality is nothing more than the choice of who a person chooses to be intimate with, no different than whether someone finds blondes or brunettes attractive, and as long as the individuals are competent, consenting adults, it is nobody's business other than the parties involved. Homosexuality is clearly differentiable from other acts such as lying or stealing in that, so far as the individuals involved are competent, consenting adults, no unwilling individuals are harmed. Quite to the contrary, gay couples are expressing love for their partners, which the world could use a little more of.
I will leave you with this: imagine, if at all possible, we lived in a truly polar opposite society, where being gay is accepted and being heterosexual is not. How would you feel, after meeting your wife with whom you will soon have two children, if the love for your wife was judged "immoral?" If you were ostracized, cast out, and hated by society at large simply because you loved a wonderful woman and wanted to have children with her? I'm not asking you to accept and approve of homosexuality, but at least to empathize with their feelings after being judged and hated by the broader society.
I await your response with anticipation; thanks in advance.
Time to clarify - "These are hurting, damaged, and broken individuals that need love and understanding, and not the stone-cold judgment that Christians..."
This is a statement that speaks for everyone.
I am hurting, damaged, and broken. I am making a simple reference to the human condition. These adjectives capture the way we all are on this planet. In my limited experience of 46 years, I have not known anyone besides deity that as escaped these conditions.
If that is perceived as condescending, then accept my apology. Those who look for fault, too often find it.
Cameron,
Thank you so much for your clarification. I just assumed you were specifically speaking of gay individuals. In light of your comments, I totally agree.
Post a Comment