Perspective

WARNING: The following includes thoughts from the head of the male portion of the Tucson Trio. Those hoping or expecting Addie updates will have to wait for the next entry.

Anytime I need an attitude and perspective adjustment, there are two people I tend to look at to straighten me out. One is my brother, Stew. Being less than 3 months apart, we pretty much have lived every stage of life at the same time, give or take a few months here and there. He always seems to have the insight that I need so I can stop being self-centered and be the husband and father my girls need from me.

The other is definitely my wife. Being home all weekend with her and Addie, I saw just how much she tried to cram into her day. With the least bit of self-promotion at its core, I share that I did the dishes and cleaned some of the kitchen the other night while she was asleep, then did more dishes and got up early to take care of Addie the other morning. I realize that my exhaustion, similar to that my brother describes in his blog, is cumulative, but even two days at home doing little but playing Dad and house helper was exhausting. The thought of piling on cooking dinner, unpacking our house, getting up earlier than I do to feed the baby, picking up the house and any number of other chores...all after working at her desk for 7-8 hours...is a quick reminder of just how much more I should be doing at home.

All of this is a precursor to the fact that I have the luxury of going to Hawaii for five days starting on Wednesday for work (if you can call a trip to Hawaii work). I was discussing the trip with a co-worker and how I planned to relax and rest both mentally and physically when I was struck with what felt like a brick upside my head (figuratively of course) with just how much my wife will have to take on while I'm gone. She will have some help with our nanny and family members until Saturday afternoon, but Saturday night until Monday around 8:00 a.m. she will be on her own with Addie, who is taking more and more energy from us by the day. It was at this point I realized as much as five days on the beach sounds great, I'd rather be home with her and Addie. She's gone through so much the last few months with our move and raising our daughter...she's the one that deserves this trip. She will have a few days with her family later this month that will hopefully be relaxing, but it's not soon enough. I guess all I can do is give her everything I've got for these final 36 hours before leaving on Wednesday morning and hope that's enough to sustain her until I return. I love my wife...I hope I can show her how much before I leave.