Where Did My Worries Go?

I'd say about 99.9% of the time, I don't give God nearly enough credit for His sovereignty, His complete control and wisdom over everything that goes on not just in my life, but pretty much in the entire universe.

One of those recurring moments happened to me the other day. I can't exactly remember the exact moment, but I was thinking about my little girl and what she'll be like when she's born and God gently reminded me how worried I used to be about her being born with some sort of serious physical defect that would cause her to either die in the womb or at a very young age.

To preface, several years ago I was visiting with Kara's brother and wife and we were viewing the video of their ultrasound screening of their soon-to-be-born daughter, Campbell. Even though we all knew the results were fine, I found myself gripped with fear over the possibility that she would be born with a birth defect.

Fast-forward to a few weeks back and as Kara and I laughed about what we think Addie will be like, the things she will do and say, that gentle tap on the shoulder came. The morning that we went in to learn the results of our ultrasound, I had complete peace about the results. It wasn't necessarily peace that everything was perfect with her, which so far we think it is, but that there was nothing the doctor could say that would change just how much I'm going to love her. From the moment we learned we would be blessed with a little girl, she's been tugging at my heart strings and burrowing her way deep into my heart and soul.

That moment gave me peace about what I'm going through at the present. While we wait for her to join us, I continue to search for a new job. While the search at times seems endless, fruitless, any other descriptive term that ends with -less, God gently reminds me that He took my biggest fear...having a child with severe physical defects...and caused it to vanish faster than a hot plate of carne asada at the Montgomery house. I may feel at times like there are no jobs out there for me and I'll never find something fulfilling, but He takes away my fears, reminds me that He has never failed to act in His timing, and that I'm wasting my time and energy on these worries. It also reminds me that I'm going to worry about anything, it should be when the Padres are going score a run again...