Where Did My Worries Go?

I'd say about 99.9% of the time, I don't give God nearly enough credit for His sovereignty, His complete control and wisdom over everything that goes on not just in my life, but pretty much in the entire universe.

One of those recurring moments happened to me the other day. I can't exactly remember the exact moment, but I was thinking about my little girl and what she'll be like when she's born and God gently reminded me how worried I used to be about her being born with some sort of serious physical defect that would cause her to either die in the womb or at a very young age.

To preface, several years ago I was visiting with Kara's brother and wife and we were viewing the video of their ultrasound screening of their soon-to-be-born daughter, Campbell. Even though we all knew the results were fine, I found myself gripped with fear over the possibility that she would be born with a birth defect.

Fast-forward to a few weeks back and as Kara and I laughed about what we think Addie will be like, the things she will do and say, that gentle tap on the shoulder came. The morning that we went in to learn the results of our ultrasound, I had complete peace about the results. It wasn't necessarily peace that everything was perfect with her, which so far we think it is, but that there was nothing the doctor could say that would change just how much I'm going to love her. From the moment we learned we would be blessed with a little girl, she's been tugging at my heart strings and burrowing her way deep into my heart and soul.

That moment gave me peace about what I'm going through at the present. While we wait for her to join us, I continue to search for a new job. While the search at times seems endless, fruitless, any other descriptive term that ends with -less, God gently reminds me that He took my biggest fear...having a child with severe physical defects...and caused it to vanish faster than a hot plate of carne asada at the Montgomery house. I may feel at times like there are no jobs out there for me and I'll never find something fulfilling, but He takes away my fears, reminds me that He has never failed to act in His timing, and that I'm wasting my time and energy on these worries. It also reminds me that I'm going to worry about anything, it should be when the Padres are going score a run again...

Life is as reliable as the weather

For those of us luckly enough to live in Southern California, we understand that part of the cost of living here is paying for "good weather." Limited rain, temperate climate, plenty of sun. However, there are those few times when the weather does not cooperate despite the amount of mortgage or rent you pay. This weekend was a perfect example of this. Sunday, it was 100 degrees at 10am! Talk about toasty!


Well, life is a lot like the weather. You never quite know what you are going to get. Lately, life has been cooperative with Eric and I - we are truly blessed. Since getting married, we have both almost finished our master's degrees, both have good jobs allowing us to live comfortably in our beloved Southern California, and last fall - God blessed us with a little Addie Jean - soon to be born in 10 weeks. However, this past week, the weather changed. Monday, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes - scarier than it sounds, but nonetheless something that has to be dealt with and that is not fun. Tuesday, we discovered that someone had stolen my credit card number and was purchasing weird software from companies in Germany. And the lowest day of all was when Eric was told at 4pm on Wednesday that he was laid off from his job at Concordia. At first, it seemed like quite a blow - he had put over 2 years at this school working WAY more than 40 hours a week. But the school is millions of dollars in the hole - and Eric was a casualty of other people's bad financial decisions. With our little one only 10 weeks away from being born, it seemed cruel and scary. But after much consideration, we realized that God had been preparing us for this for quite some time. We have been diligently praying for a way for us to afford for one of us to stay at home with our little one, and Eric had already been looking for another job. He got a decent package from the school so that we are taken care of in full until end of June with both pay and benefits - and he qualifies for unemployment after that. We are actually relieved to know that we don't have to worry about who will stay at home for Addie when she comes, and looking forward to what God brings us next. Whatever happens, we know that God is working in our lives. That is the best feeling ever - knowing that God is still working on us - molding us - shaping us - and guiding us into a new life. So not only will we get to discover a new life as parents, but a new career life as well.

Bring on the weather patterns - We are up for the challenge, and we face it head on with courage, hope, and most importantly faith.